This illustration feels radical but probably not far off.
When on Friday [June 26] we celebrated #MarriageEquality
SCOTUS ruling I Googled "pride", "pride celebration", "pride flag"
hoping to find images of a rainbow of people celebrating love and all I
could see was a cloud of white men, white women, white drag queens,
white twinks, white bears, white leathermen, white trans people, white
politicians, white old couples crying, white vets, white protesters,
etc. I was looking at the world's most powerful search engine with
access to millions of images of crowds and in the sea of rainbow flags I
struggled to see color. This made me very sad as we built LGBT rights
movement on the wave of Civil Rights Movement. We have a cultural
preference for light skin, this is not a question. Whether it's racism
and/or trend inspired is not worth arguing. Naming incidentally
successful artist, politician, or musician of color does not support
argument to the contrary. The question is what do we make our response
to this reality?
My response is not to be color-blind, but to be color-conscious. Our eyes are tools that can only see part of a spectrum of radiation. Our ears are tools that only hear a part of the frequencies of soundwaves. Our brains are tools trained to use cultural guidance to narrow those spectrum and frequencies to build relationships and communities. But with open souls, we can use the tools our bodies have to transcend the narrow commonplace and recognize our oneness. And when we do so, we will feel who we are missing and my hope is that instead of turning a blind eye, we will unite.
Although I am deeply ingrained in the same cultural conventions, my goal is to expand my idea of love and unity every day. To achieve that I refrain from using statements like "I don't see color", "We're all the same", "I'm tired of everything being about racism", "you're thinking too much", and such, because they reveal the limits of our daily experience and reality. In fact they reveal and reinforce our privilege to have those experiences. When I was younger I wanted to change people, now, more experienced, I make decisions to change myself. I hope to use the privileges I have to earn my place in the community of the future. I don't judge people for having a different experience than I, and I work hard not to judge well-meaning people who deny the problems in our shared experiences. And our shared experience is living in a world of white and male privilege, on different sides of it, yes, but the same world no less. I want to be a part of a solution, and in good time I will be. Meanwhile, I will enrich the soil of my soul by practicing seeing the invisible, and hearing the quiet, and feeling the hurt to invite the tree of love and wisdom to flourish through me if it chooses.
Today I watered tomatoes that I have the privilege to grow in my back yard, that I will have the privilege to donate instead of feeding my family. I have the privilege to spend time writing and thinking. I have the privilege to be safe and welcome. I have the privilege to be heard and seen. I have the privilege to easily find positive, inspiring, and motivating representations of myself. I have the privilege to grow into an adorable old man. I have the privilege of people fighting for my privilege. I have the privilege for "I" statements. I now have the privilege to get married to the person I want. I have the privilege to be wrong but feel right. All of these should be as mundane as weeds, but we haven't grown that garden yet.
When I was a boy in Russia I planted some lilies on an unused patch of dirt outside my urban apartment complex. Neighborhood girls came over and stomped out the seedlings because they did not believe in my dreams (we had a complex relationship). I laid on the ground and cried until my embarrassed grandma came over and picked me up. These days I cry on the inside when somebody stomps on the ideas a person is growing, because I cannot change a made up mind. I don't think it is everyone's role to be a gardener, but you do not need to stomp out a patch of flowers, just enjoy the community becoming more colorful.
#BlackLivesMatter #MyLanguageMychoice #LiveDeeply #LoveDeeply #WeAreOne
~Dmitry Mikheyev, dCenter Alum
When on Friday [June 26] we celebrated #MarriageEquality
My response is not to be color-blind, but to be color-conscious. Our eyes are tools that can only see part of a spectrum of radiation. Our ears are tools that only hear a part of the frequencies of soundwaves. Our brains are tools trained to use cultural guidance to narrow those spectrum and frequencies to build relationships and communities. But with open souls, we can use the tools our bodies have to transcend the narrow commonplace and recognize our oneness. And when we do so, we will feel who we are missing and my hope is that instead of turning a blind eye, we will unite.
Although I am deeply ingrained in the same cultural conventions, my goal is to expand my idea of love and unity every day. To achieve that I refrain from using statements like "I don't see color", "We're all the same", "I'm tired of everything being about racism", "you're thinking too much", and such, because they reveal the limits of our daily experience and reality. In fact they reveal and reinforce our privilege to have those experiences. When I was younger I wanted to change people, now, more experienced, I make decisions to change myself. I hope to use the privileges I have to earn my place in the community of the future. I don't judge people for having a different experience than I, and I work hard not to judge well-meaning people who deny the problems in our shared experiences. And our shared experience is living in a world of white and male privilege, on different sides of it, yes, but the same world no less. I want to be a part of a solution, and in good time I will be. Meanwhile, I will enrich the soil of my soul by practicing seeing the invisible, and hearing the quiet, and feeling the hurt to invite the tree of love and wisdom to flourish through me if it chooses.
Today I watered tomatoes that I have the privilege to grow in my back yard, that I will have the privilege to donate instead of feeding my family. I have the privilege to spend time writing and thinking. I have the privilege to be safe and welcome. I have the privilege to be heard and seen. I have the privilege to easily find positive, inspiring, and motivating representations of myself. I have the privilege to grow into an adorable old man. I have the privilege of people fighting for my privilege. I have the privilege for "I" statements. I now have the privilege to get married to the person I want. I have the privilege to be wrong but feel right. All of these should be as mundane as weeds, but we haven't grown that garden yet.
When I was a boy in Russia I planted some lilies on an unused patch of dirt outside my urban apartment complex. Neighborhood girls came over and stomped out the seedlings because they did not believe in my dreams (we had a complex relationship). I laid on the ground and cried until my embarrassed grandma came over and picked me up. These days I cry on the inside when somebody stomps on the ideas a person is growing, because I cannot change a made up mind. I don't think it is everyone's role to be a gardener, but you do not need to stomp out a patch of flowers, just enjoy the community becoming more colorful.
#BlackLivesMatter #MyLanguageMychoice #LiveDeeply #LoveDeeply #WeAreOne
~Dmitry Mikheyev, dCenter Alum
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