Upholding Community Guidelines

Community guidelines, agreements, or tenants are used far and wide in social justice education settings.  Creating, stating, and agreeing upon community guidelines is typically at the top of the agendas of workshops, institutes, and new community meetings.  Lately I have noticed myself being disingenuous about the idea of establishing community standards over and over again.  What’s the point of spending time creating a list of agreements - ways in which we would like to hold each other accountable as a community, ways to create a community of learners and leaders, and ways to create a brave space that acknowledges conflict and difference exists and welcomes diverse perspectives and a range of learners – if too often we do not hold each other accountable for upholding them?  What I have notice is when time goes on, and communities have long since upheld and or revisited their commitments and guidelines, people begin side stepping around each other and issues, blaming and being hurt, disconnecting with purpose and mission, and not returning.  Once this happens, the community becomes a place that lacks trust, is not continuing to learn and grow, and is not safe or welcome for all – particularly those who think differently, look differently, or are stepping outside of their comfort zones to be learners or attempt to belong.  The irony in this is that is why and for whom the community guidelines were created. 

At this year’s SPSHEDPI Dr. Caprice Hollins spent over an hour reviewing the community guidelines and commitments for the day.  In that time I was reminded of why they are so hard to uphold.  Many of them require me to feel uncomfortable, share my feelings, take risks, and trust that the community will respond from a place of love- this is scary and requires trust, sometimes from people who you don’t know or have not had the best track record with.  It was in this time that I was reminded that I haven’t been the best at modeling or participating in this act of vulnerability within my communities and began to ask myself: What do I need to be my authentic self?  What do I need to grow?  What do I need from a community to take risks?

Reviewing the work of others, here is a list that I created for myself to reconnect, reengage, and be in community. 

Communities are built through relationships of trust and commitment  - These relationships and trust do not happen over night.  They happen with intention and shared experiences.  They encourage all to contribute, collaborate, and take leadership.  They need space for engaging in conflict and celebrating success.

Recognize that we all have learning edges –I have a limited understanding of this complex world from my lens of intersecting identities and that lens may be filtered with biases.  Discovering where I have to learn and grow, particularly as it relates to social justice issues and being in community with diverse people, will require humility.  With that, I must remember that others have learning edges as well and they may not be willing to lean into that space right away.

Name your triggers –  I will be triggered, whether I like it or not I am going to feel hurt, anger, and pain – maybe even by people I care about or have intimate relationships with.  What I have control over is how I manage my triggers - this requires practice and self-work.  Being in relationship with others means being honest when you are triggered with hopes with building deeper understanding.  I will also need to practice forgiveness and letting go.

Own your impact – I am going to screw up, I have done it in the past and most likely will do it again.  And though I may genuinely not intend to hurt, impact is real and I cannot negate another’s feeling or experience.  I will hope to learn from my impact but have to accept that it isn’t the other person’s role to educate me about my ignorance and be ok with that.