I’m Syd and I use they/them pronouns! A handful of y’all know me as one of the dCenter advocates but I have a few points of connections throughout the PLU community such as ASPLU and Womxn’s Ultimate Frisbee. As a dAdvocate I have the opportunity to show many sides of myself and through this piece, I hope to share a more intimate piece of myself as I layout elements of my DJS journey.
7 Lessons 2020 Drilled Into My Head
As a preface to any BIPOC that might come across this, a lot of what I process in this piece relates to my growth as a white person, so if you stop reading now that’s totally fine. As for the white students and staff that might be viewing this I invite specifically white students and staff to reflect on my 7 takeaways from this year in the context of their own whiteness.
This year has been R.O.U.G.H. On a level of shared experience, we are all tired. Tired from the earth hurting more now than ever from the climate crisis. Tired from the continued blatant violence, and repression towards Black, Indigenous, and People of Color. Tired of feeling alone in the pandemic while separated from loved ones. Finally, tired of interacting and existing around people who continue to not acknowledge or take accountability for the mass injustices being done to our communities. Despite this year being a nightmare, with the end of the year approaching and having written this blog post, I have realized 7 concrete lessons that I need to remember into the future- past the pandemic, past the inauguration. I understand the changes I’ve seen within myself are not just a product of the past year.Now that this year is coming to an end I hold value in each of these seven lessons.
My most salient identity will always be that I am white.
In many virtual dialogues this year there have been questions regarding the saliency of our identities in various contexts. When first asked what my most salient identity was I immediately thought of what makes me uniquely me...my queerness. With my relatively recent introduction to saliency, I never considered my whiteness as my most salient identity. Honestly, it’s better said that I would have been content to avoid bringing up my whiteness as often as possible. Bottom line, I am white and that is how I am perceived first and foremost. By acknowledging that my whiteness is my most salient part of me I recognize that all my experiences are cushioned by privilege. There is no room for white people to avoid accountability for our role in upholding white supremacy culture.
My whiteness protects and unwarrantedly privileges my other marginalized identities.
As a queer and non-binary person, I recognize that my identities are intersectional, but
as I mentioned in my previous point, my experiences are cushioned, specifically as a queer person. The fact that I can dress gay as shit and hold a pretty girl’s hand in public speaks volumes about the privilege of my citizenship and my body. This point is intimately connected to the first one, but my white body will always protect my queerness and my presenting femininity.
When in doubt, communicate it out.
Talking honestly and mindfully with another person can be really difficult. It takes practice and trust but after this year I can confidently say that having those difficult and uncomfortable conversations are so beneficial in the long run. It might hurt but I have found honesty can be very healing.
Work to decolonize...well...basically everything.
Academia, work, art, music, social media...if you can name it it’s probably been abused or appropriated by white people. We should all know by now that so much of the constructed knowledge that encompasses US society is based on the Western colonial legacy. So naturally, everything I’ve grown up knowing that was told to me to be an objective truth, are literal white lies, except these white lies are far from without consequence. It’s hard to say in all the way white supremacist ‘truths’ have shaped me, but I do know that a lifetime of unlearning probably still won’t be enough.
People make mistakes, it’s all in how you take accountability.
I make mistakes daily. I have had a lot of people in the year 2020 show me grace when
making these mistakes, and in turn, I learn more. I have also been on the side of the person seeking to communicate and work through mistakes. The natural reaction when being called out is defensiveness and denial, but we have already established nearly everything needs to be decolonized.Why is the way we react to others’ emotions any different? This is more for me to remember than anyone else, but take time, consider your mistake, and instead of reacting, feel.
If I want to label myself as an anti-racist, I have to earn it.
I have an obligation as a white person to work to dismantle the systems of white supremacy, but this most certainly does not mean that BIPOC are obligated to think of me or consider me an anti-racist. White people retweeting, posting, and honestly protesting without the daily effort to uplift and support Black, Indigenous People of Color is only performative activism!
Be gentle with yourself. You aren’t going to make the previous 6 things happen every day of your life.
Personally, my mental health is wack! I never know from one day to another how I’m going to be able to show up for the people or activities I love the most. There are going to be days where I don’t act on these 7 lessons as much as I should and that’s okay. I will have days where I almost forget how to be a person let alone think of ways to decolonize my archeology course. Being gentle with oneself in all aspects of life is necessary to continue to learn and grow.
I have come to realize that both consistent unlearning and relearning are essential in the process of figuring out how I want to carry myself in the world. This year has been tiring, but to act in the name of equity for your community members and loved ones, I have found these to be the actions that have given me the most life this year.
Thank you for reading my ramblings, this year has been crazy so please take care of yourselves (:
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