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Saying No and Building Boundaries

      My name is Alissa Ouanesisouk (she/her), double majoring in Business Administration with a concentration in management and Sociology. I’m currently on campus, as the RAAD of Ordal Hall and an Admission Ambassador. 



    How I stay well, doing anti-racist work is by learning to say “No” and enjoying my own alone time. Being a first-gen student we are constantly working, always needing to plan ahead and know what the future entails. We hold onto building that generational wealth we want for our family and community back at home and the only way we know how to do it is by working hard. Learning to take a step back and say “No” is still something I am constantly trying to achieve. This doesn’t have to be done through saying a complete “No”, but learning to say “I think I’m going to work on this on my own time”, or just not replying to a text sometimes!


    Working in a place where I am living can take away my time and energy without me knowing it. You don’t have to do all the work, it’s okay to put your own priorities before others. This can look like reminding myself:  


  • It’s not my job to make others happy all the time 

  • I have the right to have my own feelings

  • It’s not my job to fix anyone

  • You can take your time making decisions 

  • Recharging can look like cleaning my space. 


    Setting up boundaries with others when needed allows me to take the time to take care of myself. It’s okay to just lay on your bed and watch a tv show because you deserve to rest. You deserve peace. I always try to find a time throughout the week to take a bath, because that’s a time where I can relax. 


    I utilize my bullet journal as my planner, but it’s also my sanctuary for my thoughts. As someone who is a very scattered brain, I always have to write things down. 


    Keeping yourself accountable is great, but also keeping yourself in check when you need is important to self-care! I keep myself in check by asking myself “What have I done for myself today?” This can be as little as drinking my whole hydro flask water bottle, or eating three meals a day, or even trying to be in bed by 11pm. Sometimes it’s also recognizing that I probably won’t be doing my best if I continue to overwork myself, so I should stop and find another time to do it. It’s okay to rest and give yourself breaks. We don’t need to be overworking ourselves to accommodate the definition of success through our capitalist society.




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